Breast feeding Vs Bottle feeding – The debate….and why it really doesn’t matter


The whole breast feeding Vs bottle feeding debate is something that has gone on for many many years and a debate which every mum has an opinion on. It’s a subject that can rattle even the most placid of people. But my question for you is WHY!? Why is it a “debate”? Why does it cause so much controversy? Why does it make people feel like they have a right to judge mothers for the way they feed THEIR baby? There are pros and cons to both methods of feeding.

We all know that breast feeding is classed as being the best source of nutrients to provide to our baby. Breast feeding is such a wonderfully natural thing. It is “classed” as the best way to bond with your baby and most of all – it’s free of charge. Now I genuinely would have loved to breast feed both of my children, it was my choice of feeding for my babies. But sadly, due to a number of reasons that choice was out of my hands and I couldn’t breast feed either of them. Therefore I fed my babies with formula via a bottle. Does that make me any less of a good mother than the mum in the next bed to me in the hospital who was breast feeding her baby? – No. Have I bonded any less with my babies because I couldn’t breast feed? – Absolutely not. Should I be judged for feeding my baby via a bottle? – Hell no. Do you know the reasons why I’m feeding my baby from a bottle? – You really don’t. Is my baby thriving, happy, cared for and loved? – More than anything.

To those mothers who are breast feeding – You are amazing for giving up your body for your child. The pressure that you have for exclusively breast feeding is immense. Only you can do those night feeds and it’s only you that is knackered. For that, I salute you. No one should judge you for breast feeding. Please don’t feel ashamed to breast feed in public. It is natural, it’s such a beautiful thing to see. If people have an issue with it, it is THEIR issue not yours. Don’t ever feel embarrassed about the fact that your baby needs his lunch. Well done for being able to breast feed. It doesn’t come natural to some people. You are awesome.

To those mothers that chose (or don’t have a choice) to bottle feed –  I understand your reasons for choosing to feed your baby via formula. I also understand the dread you feel when you tell people of your choice. Don’t feel that dread. There is no shame in bottle feeding. There is no need to justify why you are feeding him formula. I understand the faffing of having to make up a bottle during the night, and having to make sure the bottles and teats are sterilised. I also understand the glory of how amazing the Tommy Tippee prep machine is! I understand that Daddy can help feed the baby during the night so you can get some rest. Well done for formula feeding. You are awesome.

What I am trying to say is –  whether it’s breast or bottle, ultimately we are still feeding our baby. We are all doing a fantastic job regardless. Motherhood is such a tough job as it is and we need the support of other mums not judgement from them. We should be a sisterhood and stick together. Milk is milk. 30 years down the line our children wont perform any differently because of how they were fed as a baby. C’mon ladies, lets drop the debate and celebrate that we love our babies. Who cares how they are fed!




My weekly roundup

It’s been a reasonably quite week in the FLAM household this week. It is week 2 of potty training for K and I must say how incredibly proud of her I am. She has took to it so well and we have barely had any accidents. HURRAH! So here is what has been going on with us this week.

 What we’ve been up to

Like I mentioned above, it’s been a quite week here and we have spent most of our week indoors. I have been working on my 2016 goals a lot this week by organising my home and trying to de clutter as many rooms as I can manage. I still have a fair way to go with this but I feel so much better already by organising the stuff that I have done.

We managed to squeeze a little soft play trip in at the start of the week and I got a chance to catch up with a friend over coffee. I enjoy organising a “mums meet” during the week, it enables me to get out of the house, it gives K a chance to interact and play with other children and I get to socialise with my friends. Its a win/win situation and I do think we all come away feeling much better for it.

At the start of the year we signed K up to a dance class close to where we live. Although she doesn’t officially start until April, we have been attending taster sessions on a Saturday morning. She absolutely loves it. She’s such a confident little girl and thrives on situations where she can interact and basically be the centre of attention. We look forward to the next session next week.

I’ve been going to the gym- and really loving it. Again, one of my 2016 goals was to get fit and I’ve been working this goal! It’s been difficult to drum the motivation up as I have to fit the gym in after the kids have gone to bed which is sometimes 8pm and all I want to do is crash on the sofa with a cuppa and the TV but I have been making a massive effort and feel so much better for it.


What I’ve been wearing

This week I’ve been trying to clear out my wardrobe and discover my style a little bit more. Becoming a mum for the second time has left me feeling a little down about my appearance, I’ve been too tired to make an effort with how I look so I just threw anything on in the morning and rarely put any makeup on. This just resulted me feeling awful and my self esteem hitting an all time low. So I have been making more of an effort with what I wear. Its slightly difficult when you a few pounds heavier than your used to being (damn baby weight) and some of my pre-pregnancy clothes still don’t fit me but over time I’m hoping they will do again.


What we’ve been loving

The Entourage box set. This series is a fair few years old now but me and my husband are working our way through it at night time after the kids have gone to bed. I love it! The episodes are only 25 minutes long so not long enough to lose interest and there is some really quick witted comedy within it. Something we definitely need at the end of the day.



That’s it from me this week. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to over the last  7 days and what you’re loving lately. Feel free to leave me a comment. Also come and say hello to me over on Instagram (collettestate) where you can see more of what I’m up to during the week!


My goals for 2016


So, I am a bit late with this post given that it is the 12th January. But better late than never, huh!?

I’m not one for new years resolutions or the whole “new year, new me” rubbish because if your anything like me those resolutions and “new me” vows last till around the 1st of February (or sooner, depending on how cold it is and how much Christmas chocolate is left in the house *ahem*).

But I had a long, hard think on January 1st about what I wanted to achieve this year and what I expected to happen come 31st December 2016. It’s a pretty average year for the FLAM household and by “average” I mean there is nothing MAJOR happening. Last year was such a big year for us as we moved house (eeek) and had our second baby (double eeek) within the space of 6mths. Yes, I was pregnant when we moved. Yes, it was super stressful. No, I absolutely wouldn’t do it again! (Its a good job we’ve moved in to our “forever” home, let me tell you!) So given that we have no life changing events about to happen for 2016, I decided to set out some goals which I would like to achieve by the end of the year to help me feel like I have been successful.


  1. Take more photographs – A pretty simple goal to start with but one that is probably the most important to me. I love taking photos of my family, friends and things I love so I want to make sure I continue to do this as often as possible. I also want to improve my photography skills so I feel taking more photos and practicing with my camera will help with this. I have also signed up to an online photography course (cheers Groupon!) which will help me understand my DSLR more. I am also going to try and link in with other bloggers who do photo specific linkies in order to push me into taking photographs. (Sometimes there’s always an excuse on why I didn’t take one).
  2. Become more organised – As a mummy of two little ones, a large house to run and general day to day tasks to complete my life is hectic! I am often running round like a headless chicken trying to complete tasks, run errands and entertain the kids. There has been numerous times of late which I can officially say I’ve “dropped the ball” on because I’m so busy. I feel my life would run a lot smoother if I was just that little bit more organised. Mornings are usually my most hectic times so having my bags packed the night before or clothes laid out for the next morning would help significantly.
  3. Become clutter free – this would probably also help with the above goal. I am going to try and get my home clutter free this year and hopefully have a place for everything to live. I’ve lost count (and hours) on how many times myself or my husband have been looking for something that has just “disappeared” mainly because it didn’t have a correct home in the first place.
  4. Get fit – *ahem* I think I say this every year but in my defense, two out of the last 3 years I have been pregnant so I think I can cut myself some slack. I’ve recently joined a gym (again) and plan to go at least twice a week in order to improve my general fitness. I’m not looking to lose a massive amount of weight, although I probably could stand to lose that stubborn baby weight. But hopefully, by getting fit, those stubborn pounds will melt away. I would also enjoy being able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I’m going to have a heart attack!!
  5. Blog! by the end of the year I would like to look back over this blog and have documented some lovely memories. I am hoping I can build a good reader base although I am aware this takes time and patience. It would be good to have stuck with it for a year as I am usually a bit flakey and never quite see things through to the end. I love to write though and I want to look back over my posts and remember specific details about my family.
  6. Lastly, my final goal this year is to travel more. Now, this proves difficult with two young children. And I don’t mean travel to the other side of the world (although me and the hubby are going to NYC in November for my 30th Birthday. Whoop!) but just visit more places, and take more time out as a family (or solo) to go on weekends away. I aim to book in two “week long” holidays with my little family this year, just to different places within the UK. Also as just mentioned, me and my hubby are going to NYC this year and I aim to have a night away (or two) with my girlfriends. It’s good to have mummy time!

So that’s it for me. There is quite a few things to be going with. What are your new year goals?  Feel free to share them with me in the comments box!



The first post – the new beginning

So, this is my first blog post. Eeeek.

I’ve been toying with the idea of starting  a blog for a while now, so long in fact that the first time I wanted to do it my daughter was 6mths old (she’s two and a half now).  It seemed that every time I found an opportunity to sit down and set it up, some thing else  (usually just life) would spring up in its place and take over that allotted time.  I was also afraid. Afraid that I didn’t understand the blogging community, afraid that I wouldn’t have anything decent to write and more importantly that my writing skills would come under scrutiny. But I’ve decided to blow caution to the wind and finally set one up. I’ve read parent and lifestyle blogs ever since I became a parent, its a subject that I know and (hopefully) a subject I am good at. I also find blogging a lovely way to record your memories.  Especially with your children. As I for one, am very aware that the baby/toddler/child stage flies past you in a blink of an eye! Hopefully I will have something to keep and look back on in years to come.

For now, I hope you enjoy reading about my family and my life. I will be playing about with the look of my blog over the next few weeks whilst I learn all this new technology, I am also on Instagram (username: collettestate) come follow me on there and see what I get up to on a daily basis plus I’ve just set up a new twitter account especially for this blog (I’m currently keeping my personal and blog twitter account separate until I become more confident at blogging – don’t confuse me too soon!) so come and say hello on that too! (username: famlifeandme)