C-sections – We still gave birth!

Cesarean_Awareness pic

April is C-section Awareness Month and so far through this month I have seen more memes and more quotes about women defending themselves about having a c-section like it isn’t a valid entrance in to motherhood. If you google “c section memes” on the internet some of the quotes that comes up is absolutely disgusting. I won’t post it on here for fear of upsetting someone so if you want to have a look go ahead. People have actually wrote that having a c-section is a cop out or a lazy option for giving birth. Let me tell you as someone who has has two c sections that it certainly isn’t an “easy way out”. Both of my babies were delivered via emergency c section and both decisions were completely out of my hands. When I had K I didn’t get the opportunity to even go through the labour process. I was 3 days overdue and hadn’t felt my baby move for a couple of days. As a first time mum I didn’t know if this was normal or not so didn’t really think to notify anyone. When I was examined at the hospital my baby’s heartbeat was so erratic going from 220 bpm (beats per minute) to zero bpm! The professionals had no choice but to send me for a c section immediately as they feared I may have lost my baby if I was to wait to deliver naturally. When I came out of the operating theatre, although I had my beautiful baby girl I felt so disappointed that I couldn’t have the natural birth that I had planned so long to have. I didn’t even get to experience what a contraction was. People thought I was crazy for being so upset about not knowing what a contraction felt like but to me I felt like I had been cheated out of something that, as a woman, I had a right to experience. The birth of my second baby ran a similar course except that this time, at 5 days overdue, I got to experience what it was like to go in to labour. I was all set for a VBAC (vaginal birth after ceserian) but at 7cm dilated my baby’s heart beat again became erratic and not only did they send me for an emergency c-section but they had to put me to sleep. This meant that my husband couldn’t be in the delivery room to watch our son being born and I wasn’t aware that I had had him until 1 hour later! I also ended up on the high dependency unit because I had lost a lot of blood. Is that an easy way out? I don’t think so. Having a c-section is major surgery and one that is painful for weeks after and requires a lot of recovery time. Is that a cop out? again I don’t think so. Over the last two years I have come to accept my c-sections and I now understand it shouldn’t be something I am upset over. I have my two beautiful children to thank for it (and one hell of a war wound on my stomach) and who knows, without those c-sections my babies might not be sat at the side of me whilst I write this!

Some women choose to have a c-section over a natural birth and although it wouldn’t be for me, that is their choice and something that should be respected regardless of what your opinion is. Having a c-section is STILL giving birth. It is STILL your passageway into motherhood and it doesn’t make you any less of a mother for having one. I wrote a blog post a couple of weeks ago here about breast feeding vs bottle feeding and why it’s not a reflection on how good a mother they are by their circumstances. The same applies here. Let’s celebrate that we carried a child for 9 months and brought them in to the world as safely as possible. We all rock!

XOXOXO

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43 Comments

  1. Abi 18th April 2016 / 17:23

    Well said! As a fellow EMCS mummy, I can relate to everything you said. 9 months on I still struggle with what happened during my labour, even though deep down I know I did what I had to do #marvmondays

    • Collette 19th April 2016 / 14:03

      It took me a while after my 1st to be OK with the fact that I had a C-section but you do come to terms with it eventually. I hope your ok. Thanks for reading xx

  2. Kaye 18th April 2016 / 19:54

    I’ve seen a few of these meme’s and they are absolutely awful! It just doesn’t matter how we bring our babies into this world, just that they’re healthy and happy. It’s never an easy thing to do regardless how we do it. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    • Collette 19th April 2016 / 14:02

      I 100% agree with you no child birth is easy at all. Thanks so much for reading xx

  3. Not A Frumpy Mum 18th April 2016 / 20:12

    I had my first son via an emergency c-section, after being induced and in labour for 20 hours his heartbeat was erratic and he needed to come out as quickly as possible. Due to complications in that section I have been strongly advised to avoid a natural birth this time due to an increased risk of uterine rupture. We’ve known that a c-section would be recommended for any other children from the moment we left theatre and I have long since made my peace with that. I will be eternally grateful for the doctors and nurses who helped to deliver my son, and I am proud to be a c-section mama! xxx #MarvMondays

    • Collette 19th April 2016 / 14:01

      Absolutely! Be proud of your C-section. It gave you your little boy. If we ever decide to have any more children I would automatically have to have a C-section now as I’ve had two previously (the third one’s free haha) and I’d be completely Ok with this now. You do whatever you have to do to get them out. Thanks for reading xx

  4. Marissa 19th April 2016 / 14:21

    I’ve experienced both c-sections and natural and a vbac, and I have three beautiful children… and really that is all that matters. To them I am mommy, and really, no one else’s opinion matters. This mommy war of giving birth is crazy 😉

    #TwinklyTuesday

    Please feel free to link this up with the Cozy Reading Spot on thursday 😉

    • Collette 19th April 2016 / 14:24

      It really is crazy isn’t it!? It’s like motherhood one upmanship all the time. I get really tired of it. Thanks for reading. I’ll be sure to pop by the cosy reading spot 🙂 xx

  5. Lianne 20th April 2016 / 11:09

    I havent seen the memes but shocked they exist! Both my boys were delivered naturally but if a section was needed then so be it, I think its awful some people think it a cop-out! #sharewithme

    • Collette 20th April 2016 / 14:24

      I know! I was horrified. The hurtful fact is they aren’t even joking. It’s disgraceful. But then such is life I guess. Thanks so much for reading! xx

  6. justsayingmum 21st April 2016 / 12:05

    totally and utterly agree – I had an emergency section with my first daughter – it was horrific – the shock after 45 hour labour of trying and then being told I couldn’t give birth naturally really rocked me – I was so convinced I would have a natural both that I didn’t even read the chapter on sections in the birthing book. But, I going to be really honest here – I don’t feel that I’m part of the club – maybe that’s just my insecurities but I would imagine there are plenty of mummies of sections that feel the same. A really good read though on a very emotive and controversial subject #coolmumclub

  7. Helena 21st April 2016 / 13:26

    I think it’s disgusting that people have been saying things like you are less of a mother for having a c section. I’m under the impression that c sections are usually the last resort these days and aren’t usually entered into lightly. Even if you get to choose a c section over a vbac it ‘s your body, your choice. I may not be here to day if I hadn’t had a c section.

  8. One Messy Mama 21st April 2016 / 15:57

    Sometimes I get the impression that mums feel they need to give reasons for their C-sections. And that’s sad! No reason is needed! We gave birth. Full stop! Actually I chose to have a C-section. And it has nothing to do with any one.. There should be no guilt! #coolmumclub

    • Collette 22nd April 2016 / 06:33

      Amen!! No reason to justify yourself at all! Thanks for reading! xx

  9. MMT 22nd April 2016 / 08:16

    I’m always astonished when people do any sort of mum-bashing…but about C-sections? A marvel of medicine that has allowed so many women safely deliver their precious children who may not have otherwise made it? UNBELIEVABLE!
    I salute all mothers who have carried and welcomed a baby into this world, whichever route they took.
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub x

    • Collette 22nd April 2016 / 08:58

      I couldn’t believe it either! I agree with you 100%. Thanks for reading x

  10. Carol Cameleon 23rd April 2016 / 15:06

    Definitely, let’s celebrate it! I had an emergency section, was due for a planned. For various reason, I would go for an elected – in my opinion, so much can go wrong, so fast, even in a straight forward pregnancy and I think anyone who doesn’t see this is naive frankly. I get extremely passion about c sections and defend them (and the NHS) to the hilt. My recovery was quick which was fortunate but the delivery was traumatic and I still gave birth! #sharewithme

    • Collette 24th April 2016 / 14:59

      That’s amazing. The NHS are brilliant too. Thanks so much for reading xx

  11. jenny 27th April 2016 / 09:15

    Well said darling. I think it’s one of those things it doesn’t matter how a baby comes into this world we are all mothers, we have all carried our babies in our bellies we all have given birth a different way. There shouldn’t be so much judgment among us. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme

    • Collette 27th April 2016 / 13:14

      Thankyou for reading lovely xx

  12. Gemma ( Cotswold Mum Blog) 5th January 2017 / 18:55

    I agree with you completely that we should be celebrating the safe arrival of a baby rather than stressing over the manner of the birth. What does it matter if a baby is born vaginally or by C-Section, at the end of the day as long as both mum and baby are fine that should be all that matters. A birth is a birth regardless of how baby was born. My son was an undiagnosed breech so I ended up with an emergency C-Section after 21 hours of labout with no progression. All I wanted was my son in my arms, I didn’t care how it happened as long as it did. Thanks for #sharingthebloglove

    • Collette 5th January 2017 / 19:59

      I agree! Natural or C-section we all end up with a little person at the end of it! Thanks so much for reading lovely x

  13. Mummy Times Two 5th January 2017 / 19:03

    As someone who has had two emergency c-sections I can certainly relate to this post. I was determined the second wouldn’t end that way but nature had other ideas. I now how two health children and am alive, which in the days before this intervention wouldn’t have happened. I also had long recoveries and will always be sad that I wasn’t the first to hold either of my babies. It’s far from the easy way out. #Sharingthebloglove

    • Collette 5th January 2017 / 19:53

      Sometimes the choice is completely out of our hands and at the end of the day so long as we all come out of it alive and well then job well done I say! Thanks so much for reading x

  14. Mackenzie Glanville 6th January 2017 / 01:16

    Easy way out??? Um NO WAY! My 2 daughters were born through a vaginal birth, the first was stressful, the second was everything i could wish for, my son was a C-section and by far the hardest to recover from both physically and emotionally. Not only do we deal with having major surgery to recover from, but also the emotional abuse we put ourselves through feeling we somehow let our baby or ourselves down. With my son I wanted drug free, hypo birth, I had a C-section, he was 5 weeks early and I couldn’t even hold him other than for a moment before he went to special care. But he is healthy and amazing, and just as smart and funny as his sisters. Our bond is so strong and I adore him!

    So to people who have no clue they should just keep their naive opinions to themselves. Besides they obviously have issues in their own lives if they can’t just be happy without putting others down!

    Fab Post #sharingthebloglove

  15. Tooting Mama 6th January 2017 / 09:02

    As a mum who has adopted, I haven’t experienced childbirth, but a birthing choice should be that of the mothers, whether natural or not. And as you experienced the choice isn’t yours to make. But at the end of the day, we want our children happy and healthy regardless of how they came into this world! #SharingtheBlogLove

  16. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons 7th January 2017 / 19:51

    I’ve never understood that attitude towards C-sections – childbirth is one of the most unpredictable experiences a woman ever encounters, and however she delivers her baby shouldn’t be some kind of badge of honour. To say nothing of the fact that a C-section is major surgery and has a lengthy recovery time. I had a vaginal birth first time around, and I hope that will be the same this time too, but if nature has other plans then I don’t intend to beat myself up over it. Thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Collette 7th January 2017 / 22:28

      Thanks for reading lovely xx

  17. Laura - Dear Bear and Beany 10th January 2017 / 11:56

    I never got this. Having a baby, is having a baby no matter how they arrive into the world. I had a vaginal birth for both my girls, but I don’t think I’ve had a tougher experience than someone that had a c-section, which is major surgery. We should all just focus on the fact that our babies arrived safely and healthy into the world. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

  18. Susie at This Is Me Now 12th January 2017 / 08:31

    Absolutely! my sister in law had an emergency c-section first time around and so opted for a c-section next time due to complications in her previous pregnancy. it’s not an easy option and in an emergency the main thing is baby comes out as safely as possible. i’d not hesitate if their life depended on it. #SharingtheblogLove

    • Collette 12th January 2017 / 10:53

      I completely agree. Thankyou for reading!

  19. Dave - Dad's Turn 12th January 2017 / 09:25

    Just read some of the memes. What happened to these people to make them so thoughtless, vicious and ignorant? With an emphasis on the last. Why do they have such nasty opinions on how a baby is born? And so unnecessary as well! Thanks for raising awareness with your post. #sharingthebloglove

    • Collette 12th January 2017 / 10:52

      Thank you. They are disgusting aren’t they. Usually written up by someone that has absolutely no clue what they are on about and 99.9% written by non parents I’d imagine! Thanks so much for reading!

  20. Marina 12th January 2017 / 12:13

    Totally agree. It’s still giving birth, it’s still that emotional and sacred an experience, and we are all mothers. Beautiful post! x #SharingtheBlogLove

  21. Michelle G 12th January 2017 / 14:54

    Gosh, I had no idea that people could be so awful 🙁 Abso-bloody-lutely – however you give birth, you give birth x #sharingthebloglove

  22. Twin Pickle 12th January 2017 / 17:51

    Double C-Section mama right here! Emergency with my first and then I didn’t want to risk it with the Twins. I had no idea there was an awareness week, us c-section mums do get a bad wrap sometimes. #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Collette 12th January 2017 / 21:48

      High five to the double C-section mamas! Yep we get a bad wrap, it’s a good job we are thick skinned most of the time! Thanks so much for reading xx

  23. Alana - Burnished Chaos 12th January 2017 / 18:36

    I can definitely relate to this post. I struggled after my first c-section because I had a whole natural water birth planned but he was breach with low fluid so had no choice and was booked straight in for a csection. I felt I had missed out too and it took a long time to let go of that. I always swore I would have a vbac next time round but when the time came I was terrified something would go wrong if I tried so pushed for an early csection. Turns out I was already starting to rupture from my previous scar and much longer and we’d both be dead. To top it off, the anaesthetic didn’t work past the top layers of skin but once they were in and saw I was rupturing there was no time to wait for more drugs to take affect. I was determined to see her being born after bonding issues first time round and held out till she arrived but had to be given a general straight away after while they patched me up. Most definitely not an easy option! Knowing what might have happened had I given in to the stigma around csections terrifies me and I am grateful every day that I listened to my instincts.
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Collette 12th January 2017 / 21:47

      Bloody hell you went though a tough time didn’t you!? It absolutely isn’t an easy option and you are living proof of that! Thanks so much for reading and sharing your story xx

  24. Laura - Little Ladies Big World 12th January 2017 / 21:14

    I can relate to this so much, although I didn’t have a c-section, i too was 1 push off having an emergency one and so can understand the feelings of wanting to go through it as I had that all when they told me. But I definitely felt that was because a csection wasn’t the easy way at all. Either way we are all people with choices and feelings and babies are born. I am pretty sure as soon as they come out of the baby days who cares how they came into the world xx #sharingthebloglove

  25. Carolina Twin Mom / Mary Peterson 16th January 2017 / 20:34

    Thank you for addressing this subject! I too had *wanted* to have a vaginal birth with my twins, and my doctor was on board with this, should circumstances allow. Unfortunately, I too had an emergency C-section due to full-blown eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome.

    Granted, every woman’s situation is different, but I can only speak for myself. Anyone who tries to diminish my experience – which stopped my seizures and saved my life and that of my children – is ignorant of the facts. Motherhood is so special, regardless of if it happens by way of adoption, vaginal birth or C-section.
    #SharingtheBlogLove

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